Tap Into Your Confidence
Your Greatest Hits
Today's Empowering Belief
Confidence is something I can access at any point in time.
Hey Champion,
Confidence is the best accessory you can wear…
It's what I read recently in a social media post. There is some truth to this; however not an easy one to attain. Being confident every moment is impossible, but there is undoubtedly a way to manage it; I want to explore that with you today.
The core sentiment in this statement is to be completely self-aware, which I'd agree with. Though saying so and doing so actively, consistently is perhaps where many people aren't congruent. One must adhere to a level of mental conditioning to be and remain untouched and unbreakable. Don't worry; we are developing this in the Champions of Change newsletter in smaller doses, progressively.
If you want to explore more self-awareness, my strategic partner, Humaira Akhter, has an insightful newsletter called The SAS [The Self-Aware Solopreneur]
Go check it out, click on the image or here.
Where does confidence come from?
Feeling confident is perhaps a universal desire; we all want to feel more confident in who we are and what we do, to be ourselves completely. Let's be real here:
Confidence comes from our experiences; when we've taken action, learnt a lesson, applied it elsewhere and prevailed.
People may not like an unfamiliar experience, but as a result, they are refined and affluent. The next time we face similar occurrences, we overcome them swiftly.
Think about the last time you experienced something unpleasant; you overcame it, but if you were to handle the same, if not a similar situation, you'd be better equipped, right? Absolutely!
Well, let me ask you, what do you believe you gained from taking action in certain situations? To name a few, resiliency, courage, familiarity, awareness, strength, focus and capability. These form part of how you become more confident, but it certainty that is key here.
When trying to do something, we feel less than confident our mind may jump straight into the experiences we weren't our best in. "You failed last time; you dropped the ball, don't screw up again; this isn't you; you didn't live up to yourself."
We perhaps think of all but the relevant past experiences favourable to the situation, so what to do? Well, we'd never judge ourselves reasonably; the brain is out to protect you, so it best to err on the side of favourable.
Stack them up
Do you tally or count the accomplishments or times you overcame something you never thought you could? I'm taking a wild guess here, no. Perhaps you can recall them, but I want you to start collating them like a list and have them at hand reach.
Think about all your victories, accomplishments, your improvements, and write them down, both big and small. You might have made a 3-course meal from scratch, helping someone nobody wants to help or standing on stage for the first time. It can be anything you overcame that makes you feel good about yourself, whether tolerant, fearless, happy, excited or courageous; make sure it aligns with your value system.
Any time you feel like you are in a challenging situation, life feels down, you may be trying or about to do something you've never done before, or you need a confidence boost, review this list. It acts as a reminder of the good that you have achieved.
Explore Your Greatest Hits
When reading through your list, refrain from reading it passively, like glancing through a magazine. Think about the music we listen to. I'm a jazz 🎷 and hip-hop guy; you might have a different preference.
We all have those go-to songs that we constantly listen to, which match our mood. When listening, we go deeper into the music; even if the whole track isn't about our current situation, we fixate on a chorus or statement in the song like it was.
The list you have is your greatest hits in life. A moment in your life that I want you to repeat and go deeper into, to feel and experience wherever you are, in any moment.
Feeling It
Go through your list and feel them in an associated way; what I mean is to live it again. Be emotionally connected to the memory rather than looking at yourself from an outside perspective.
[We will explore more on associated and dissociated experiences in another newsletter]
Be in the mental movie you are thinking about, revisit what that moment felt like, to be confident that you did it, achieved it, accomplished it, and overcome it.
Notice how bright the movie is in your memory. What can you hear? What sound is clear? Who was there, and what happened; see it play out again.
Can you hear how you spoke? Was there a reaction? How were you breathing? Are you calm? Confident? Did you take action? When was that, and why did you?
While you jump into these memories movies, notice how you feel now. How are you currently standing or sitting? Are you leaning in, standing straight up or slouched? What state are you in? Look in the mirror; what does your facial expression suggest? What sensation do you feel?
Iterate through each item in your list and stack those feelings on top of the other. Notice that you begin to change your state and feel more empowered and triggered. The critical thing here is to build the right state of mind before taking on your task.
If you do not feel a sense of empowerment yet, you may need to go back to your list and live that moment again, go into more items and stack them until you feel unstoppable. I trust you are taking the time to do so; otherwise, this exercise will waste your time.
Daily Habit
Create a habit of looking at your greatest hits frequently, do it daily if you have to, and soon enough, you will be able to tap into a confident state of mind. When you are more confident, you have more energy and spend less time on self-doubt or self-consciousness.
Apply yourself with the right state of mind for winning results every time. The stronger your associations with your triumphs, the easier the activities become.
We will explore ‘the ingredients of confidence’ in a later episode of the newsletter, until next time Champions; stay confident.
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My dear friend Anks, I'm always impressed by your brilliant way of describing such powerful inner-work steps in such simplistic words! Indeed, after going through what I like to call the first shallow self-development journey during which I merely relied on positive affirmations (instantly overridden by my limiting beliefs with the first major incident), I found out how a trivial modification of some letters made a whole difference!
"Affirmations" transformed into "confirmations" after questioning, seeing the images, and feeling. That's the language of our subconscious program anyway, and I was thrilled to discover it. I'm not saying it was smooth. That would be a lie. The pain (or suffering in the beginning) was seemingly unbearable. What drastically helped raising my bravery level was what I visualized during my OBE. For this, I will never be grateful enough to the magical Universe!
Talking about confidence, I couldn't not remember a mind-blowing passage by Yuval Noah Harari that might explain humanity history in a record time!
"Tribes existed way before our species. The archaic humans adopted the group configuration because it was easier to survive as a group when they were merely marginal creatures among many other animals and predators. For millions of years, their position in the food chain used to be in the middle. Humans jumped to the top with the rise of our ancestors!
That spectacular leap from the middle to the top had enormous consequences. Other animals at the top of the pyramid, such as lions and sharks, evolved into that position very gradually, over millions of years. This enabled the ecosystem to develop checks and balances that prevent lions and sharks from wreaking too much havoc.
As lions became deadlier, so gazelles evolved to run faster, hyenas to cooperate better, and rhinoceroses to be more bad-tempered. In contrast, humankind ascended to the top so quickly that the ecosystem was not given time to adjust. Moreover, humans themselves failed to adjust.
Most top predators of the planet are majestic creatures. Millions of years of domination have filled them with self-confidence. Sapiens by contrast is more like a banana-republic dictator.
Having so recently been one of the underdogs of the savannah, we are full of fears and anxieties over our position, which makes us doubly cruel and dangerous. Many historical calamities, from deadly wars to ecological catastrophes, have resulted from this over-hasty jump."
Always a great read