Held Back By The Opinions Of Others
How to overcome them
Today's Empowering Belief
I choose where to invest my energy.
Hey Champion,
Check this.
I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am - Charles Cooley
Re-read that until it sticks. The quote is the truth of today's problems.
A False Belief
Our world is self-inclined; it wasn't always, but generation after generation has contributed to the subsequent struggles we face today. In that struggle, it is becoming harder to remain mentally transparent.
Society can tell you what to do, where to go, who to be friends with, or why you shouldn't do it. Those who feel inactive, idle, and passive are imprisoned, not by people's opinions but by their beliefs about them.
So I asked, "why do you not put what you learnt into practice?"
Firstly, I want everyone to throw the word 'Perfection' in the trash. Delete it. Ignore it. Whoever adopts it is misguided.
Perfection is just a generalisation.
Perfection is a term that forms under fear. You have adopted it throughout your life by experiencing your surroundings, what you consume, and the people around you. The brain generalises; it's one of our mental functions, and many people are crippled because we allow it to form into a belief.
Anything can be true if you believe it to be so create empowering beliefs.
Where did it come from?
I needed to explore where this 'perfection' forms, so I coached another answer, "What specifically in that fear stops you?"
[Ask yourself this question too]
Champion: Getting ridiculed, bullied...
Anks: By who?
Champion: People online.
What's happening here is that we are giving away our control. We no longer take action because we have given our power to something that doesn't exist.
It's as if someone is waiting for you to do something so they can jump out and throw verbal abuse at you, tare you down, say you're wrong, a failure, or you're pathetic, and on and on; we can go. Nobody is waiting; you have built that in your mind and you become:
Stagnant, inactive, unresponsive, afraid, stale.
Here's the truth
Everyone's thoughts are the same; 'what are others thinking of me'. Charles cooley's quote above shows us that we live in a perception of someone else's perception.
Action Step: Forming a better belief
Firstly we will create an association of what this limiting belief is taking away from you. Think about your limiting belief; in this example, we look at perfectionism; this belief may be "I need everything to be perfect before I do it".
Consider each of these questions but genuinely feel them:
How much does this belief weigh in your life?
What do these beliefs cost you? What are you losing?
What are you missing out on?
How does this affect your financials?
Are you more doubtful?
Do they empower you or disempower you?
Is it affecting your relationship? Business? Parenthood?
Are you gaining weight? Feeling more stressed?
What if we lived like this for the next 10-15 years? Think about it, multiply that feeling by 30 years! What would life be like?
[Take a moment, breathe]
Ok.
*Now let's change our state, stand up, shake our bodies, and move about, do it!
Get yourself into a state of complete confidence, excitement and empowerment, whatever it takes.
Now think about a new empowering belief:
"I don't need to prove anything to anyone besides myself"
What are the positive pleasures of having the belief? Feel it:
What positive impacts have these made in your life five years later?
How has it enhanced your life?
What have you accomplished?
Are you more confident?
How are your energy levels?
Do you feel more joy and passion?
What type of relationship do you have now?
Are you better off financially?
Are you a better role model?
Condition these positive thoughts repeatedly until you no longer associate with the old belief.
[End of Action Step]
Lost Energy
Focus is such a powerful tool we have.
Powerful enough to break you down, powerful enough to build you up.
The opinions of others will always be there; the good, bad and ugly. So what can you do when you’re faced with negative comments or opinions of others?
Reshift your focus.
When you feel insecure, afraid, shy, lack confidence, or ashamed that people are laughing at you, whatever it may be, you are allowing your energy to make it bigger than it needs to be.
Preserve your energy for what matters.
When I first started exercising, I walked a lot in public, 8km daily. I would be self-conscious; my breathing changed, I sweated more, and I got nervous. Constantly I kept thinking about what people must be thinking, so some days I never walked.
My energy was wasted on unreal things.
I developed and shifted my focus to something more empowering, something that propels me and creates more confidence in me. Doing so drastically dropped all my draining energy on others. I no longer think about the negatives.
After eight months of walking, I lost four stones. Go Anks!
Next time you find yourself in a negative thought, instantly shift your focus to something good, positive, perhaps something you look forward to, maybe why you started in the first place or what you're going to achieve.
The opinion of others is just, well, opinions.
Champion: Oh man, this hit home.
Stay Fulfilled.
Unleash Your Greatness
There is an unstoppable inner Champion you are not allowing to come through, the source of your power. With the right empowerment and strategies, you can become the person you know you should be.
Can someone benefit?
Contribute this letter forward - help others grow.